Speaking doctors

Monday ‘What a facility’, I think to myself. I wake up with a heavy heart. Its floors no more. The whole month is supposed to be clinicking. Mondays are supposed to be the toughest. Clinic starts at twelve but will start early (as some other consultant’s clinic is cancelled). I text Dr Asif about when exactly should I reach hospital. ‘At nine’, comes the reply. Nine seems like ages away. A whole extra hour.  I usually leave home at quarter to eight and a fifteen minutes drive takes me to hospital. Its nine when I reach hospital. I hit the on call rooms. From there I call the clinic counter number. They tell me clinic starts at ten. I reach there at quarter to ten. “I’m Dr Zarka”, I introduce myself. The staff there turns around to have a look. “Oh so we finally get to see you today, for the last three months, we have been listening to you via phone only!”, one of the staff beams. I return a smile. Its more of a grimace.   I start with my first patient. Sara’s words...

I wasn’t really interested to begin with. But then thought, oh what the hell, it may be worth a sight. Welcome to ER. Welcome to a different world altogether. There is a front and a back. A back is called back because its behind front. Front is called front because its in front of back. Logic. Filled with a different lot. Us medicine residents are supposed to be in front. A space for eight beds but can accomodate sixteen. Sixteen sick patients. Chest pains, shortness of breath, palpitations. A young patient comes in. He has been bitten by a snake. His friend gave him the snake as a gift. As he was playing with it the snake recoiled and gave him a jab. “You were playing with the snake? Didn’t the snake give you jitters?”, I asked him. He just smiled away. Pleased to be bitten, now that amazed me. Rashid, our ER resident was more interested in the snake. He told me that he only watched National Geographic upon going home and had seen many a snakes. He asked the attendant if they had b...

For all those people not related to the medical profession, skip this post. For all the people related to the medical profession who have just had enough of medical stuff, also skip this post.  I found this video extremely helpful. Yes, it can get a bit too boring, so I would recommend  that watch it in bits and pieces. For all those who didnot enjoy the above video, my question is 'kis nay kaha tha kay pepsi painsath kee kar do!' As we smile away.... And in the end I'd leave you with this video. My nana used to sing it with us almost every morning. It was such fun! I dedicate this to my brothers Arif (of arificialintelligence fame) and Junaid,  as we frequently sing this and smile away. 

Iftari. The time we absolutely love. My childhood iftaris seemed to be pretty simple. A few samosas, rooh afza sharbat, followed by dinner. As we started to move our iftaris also evolved. The menu bloomed while in Lahore. The food available in Lahore is just awesome. My father used to buy dahi baras and fruit chaat. They were just amazing! Chaating away! It was there that I learnt how to make my first fruit chaat (we Sindhis usually donot make fruit chaats ). My class fellow taught me how to. I made it with lemon juice and put in a little too much. I still remember the too tangy taste of it!  The latest modified one that is now made by Chef Zarka is  with Tang (in the absence of oranges). Add in any fruit available (and yes mangoes taste exotic in it), some tang, a dash of water, salt, pepper, some sugar, mix, and hand it over to the refrigerator an hour earlier so that the taste all blends in. Pakoras Rarely made at home nowadays (to...

Nice to see hanh? But is it right. No! I passed a line. Yo hoo! There are various types of lines in this world. Fishing lines. Lines on books.Lines during the morning assembly. Lines in front of banks. Lines we love to break! If rules are broken, should you retaliate, or should you just watch. Watch the fun. Nice to see hanh? But is it right. No. Hence comes 'Khamoshi ka boycott'! Enjoy the amazing pic.

 Look at the peace on the face .  As I take my cup of tea mixture,  heading towards the microwave, I meet Uzma (my friend in anaesthesia departement). She looks worried and lost. Zarka : Whats up Uzma : I ve lost my keys to the PCI (whatever that means) and you don't know what a big deal it is! Zarka : Ohhhh Uzma : I ve lost them in this gynaecology unit and just could not find them. I give her an understanding look. Uzma : What are you doing around here? Zarka : Our call rooms are located here. We then part our ways. A thought comes to my mind and I turn around and almost yell at Uzma. Zarka : Why dont you read that Ayat , ummmmmm Uzma : I AM reciting,   INNALILLAHI WAINNAILAIHIROJIUN. I turn back and could not help smiling. I brew my cup of tea which has sprinkles of coffee in it. Perfectly done, I head back to the call rooms. 'I' ll have tea, do some net surfing, maybe study a bit, try that new hairstyle', my mind race...

Or is it just a pretty name to it. I was just surfing through the internet and went through a few blogs. I found a few lines which caught my attention. 'Money is the only hindrance'. 'Criticism is welcome'. And yes I found a dialogue which really inspired me. Coming up next (in the blogs to come) is a dialogue. So there is a difference between plagiarism and inspiration. Or is it just a pretty name to it. As I said , criticism is welcome.

'Woh har ik baat pay kehna kay youn hota to kya hota'.  "Your last post was not good at all! Write better ones.", says Huma while having breakfast in the cafetaria.Which post, my mind races. I finally ask her. "The one in which you wrote about your busy call", she goes on. "You should write something everyday, so that we have something to read". Well now these are two entirely contradicting comments. "My brother says that there should be some shoddy work so that the nice one is appreciated", I respond. Huma is not impressed. She continues with her paratha, with the jam spread all over. Weather update   Coming to yesterday's call. Nothing interesting happened. At times that is interesting in itself. As  the sun continues to scorch, the power failures change their gear and accelerate. But then there is the sunny side to the heat. The lawn suits, the amazing mangoes. The amazing amazing mangoes.Yellow, juicy. They come in all shapes a...

Clock ticks two am. The nurse calls and tells me, “”Come quick, your doctor has collapsed!”. I don’t believe this.What the hell is the nurse saying. I rush towards CICU. My patient has been reintubated. While intubating Doctor S (my anaesthesia colleague, oncall with me), felt dizzy and collapsed.   Thank God, there was another anaesthesia resident standing nearby to complete the patient’s intubation. As he definitely needs to nourish himself. On the bed adjacent to the patient, lay Dr S.Have you checked his blood sugar, I ask the nurse. The glucometer arrives and the blood sugar is fine along with the rest of the vital signs. Dr S tries to get up, but I ask him to take some rest. His support is needed to run all those washing machines (ventilators)!     Early next morning, as we start breakfast, Dr Javed Hussa in arrives for the rounds. I pack my nashta in a tissue paper, pick up the glass of milk and ask Dr S to complete the meal, as he definitely needs to nouris...

The nurse, screams, “Dr Zarka!, your blog is found unresponsive!”. I rush towards it. No pulse, no breathing. We start CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). Fluid boluses are given along with inotropic support. Blog starts to revive. Thank God! I guess the problem lies with our stars. They don’t match! Almost ten days in ICU rotation now.The team comprises of three medicine residents, one pulmonology resident, one rapid response resident (what a job description!), two anaesthesia medical officers and a critical care fellow.The ICU has been divided into medical , surgical and paediatric  ICU. Thirteen beds. And all these doctors have one call room. The call room has every necessity required , except space. First week  was with Dr Nawal. Seven days. I guess the problem lies with our stars. They don’t match. Second week. Dr Javaid Hussain’s week starts.One of my friends once commented that he is one of the very few people who look handsome despite the baldness. Rotating wit...

“You’re going to write a post about valentine’s day, aren’t you?”, says Sana (year one resident), when I met her in C2. Am I. Should I. Will I! We recommend him to go to Forum. I think and rethink, and then come up with the following idea…. Let’s take a peep at what  people are doing this fourteenth of Feb. Saima She looks excited, but that excitation is leading to nowhere. This morning she leaves an orchid in my black bag. It looks pretty, sitting there. She has plucked it from the garden in front of CCU. Dr Fawad is astonished, once he knows that, and tells Saima, not to do that to their flowers! And from my end, I actually never noticed those flowers, on the way to and away from CCU. During breakfast Saima asks Dr Fawad, “Did you wish your wife , a happy valentine’s day”. Dr Fawad smiles away, and says, “I’m postcall!” Whatever that means. Aini Floor rotation is driving her crazy! Last year she did her laundry and texted her friends, who did not respond as th...

Its 8 am. I have an hour till my duty finishes. Half-heartedly I head for cardiology meeting. I almost stumble on a pointed object on the floor.   Here they usually speak a language which is alien at least to this doc.As I enter the dark room, I almost stumble on a pointed object on the floor.I try to appear cool as if nothing has happened. Dr Abid is presenting something about lipids in a very monotonous tone. He goes on and on about this study and that. Dr Atta Khan takes his power nap , thrice to be exact! Then comes in the tea! Sidra (intern) , looks at me and we smile at each other. Tea is accompanied by fresh ties , coated with till! The packet is rotated all around the meeting room. In a minute the room filled with doctors is replaced by munchers.   And remember, we were talking about reducing cholesterol! About eating high fibre diet, about exercise. In the meeting Dr Amir Hameed continues his archery on Dr Abid. Post meeting Dr Abid looks broken…

Cardiology night float… He goes on with his drill of proving that she has SLE! It’s eleven am. Still at home. I have to report in hospital at four pm. Five more hours to go.Cardiology night float is thought to be one of the most nerve wrecking rotations.It requires a lot of running around.. This month I have about fifteen calls.Half of them with Dr Ashiq and the remaining half with Dr Abid. One of the fifteen done. The first call was with Dr Ashiq. He is due to appear for his clinical exam in the middle of this month and examines each patient as if he is in CPSP! Every lady that he examines with a remote cardiological finding….. he goes on with his drill of proving that she has SLE! As I headed for my first call, CCU appeared to be a very cold place. Post one call, it’s not that cold. Though it does seem like a man’s world there! In CCU everybody has an encounter with ‘CCU Jamshed’ (the unit receptionist). There are very few men who talk as much as he does! His one line...

Guys , here comes the weekend! I have four patients.One of the funniest ones. At least that’s what Aini says. In his vocabulary of a gizzilion words , he tried to find the most appropriate words of praise There is this Uncle ,who is admitted  under care of Dr Faisal, but only wants to see Dr Amir Hameed. He is what Dr Ayesha Kamal says “full of history”! The day he arrived, he told me that  he’d a pacemaker in and he wanted it checked (as he thought that it might have malfunctioned secondary to his fall). I did exactly that, called the experts to check the pacemaker (as I could not fulfil his second wish of making Dr Amir Hameed meet him there and then). The pacemaker was checked and it was functioning fine. I checked back to see if he was happy now, but he was annoyed.He said, “The technicians have not checked it right , only Amir Hameed knows how to do that!”. Then he went on about why he wants to see Dr Amir Hameed, in his vocabulary of a gizzilion words , he tried to...

I still remember , the day. I was in Matli, girls Government School, class nine. Fresh from overseas, I’d been asked by my teachers to make a speech on the special day. I painstakingly made a thunderous speech on the Quaid.His sacrificies, his dedication………. His sacrificies, his dedication………. I arrived in school to see a few girls dressed in army dresses.I asked one of them why are you dressed as such on the death anniversary of the Quaid! Its the defence day silly, I was told. Oh-uh……..I was to give the speech in ten minutes.”The Quaid” , was replaced by “our great soldiers” on the whole two page speech.The speech went well, anyways! On his birth anniversary, lets take an oath,just to be good. Be honest in whatever we do, people will start changing , once we change ourselves……..   Kam , kam, or kam…………….

First call in Neurology.Weekend call.We start off with seven patients and discharge four.One is shifted to wing.Left with two more. I ask Dr Kamran if I could clerk some patients from ER. The offer delights him.He says I should cover his ER responsibilities from 8-10pm ,while he attends Neurology night.The deal is settled. I take my book out of the locker, and aim to study.Saima Kamal (lovingly called chulbul) is sitting on C2 counter.She offers tea and Aini joins in.I shrug the thought of studying and join in some hearty gossip…… I shrug the thought of studying and join in some hearty gossip…… Earlier , Aini asks Dr Kamran about the Neurology night, and whether we could join.He agrees. Done with tea ( and ither kee other ) I head back to C2 with the promise with Aini and Saima that I would page them before leaving for the function. As i complete my prayers ,Dr Kamran pages from ER.He asks me to come to ER immediately to see some patients as he doesn’t have the energy to see anym...